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Your monitoring isn't a stack. It's a pile. Fix that.
Errors, performance, logs, uptime. One install, one invoice, one UI.
Replace Datadog, New Relic, and Sentry without adding three more dashboards.
HTTP tunnel to MySQL written in PHP. Returns JSON descriptive result.
...The script will utilize mysqli or mysql extensions, and mcrypt to perform decryption on the request and encryption on the result if needed.
You can also choose whether to expose its functionality upon calling the script with a WebBrowser or not. The script is highly configurable, and maintains log files if needed.