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Sir William Thompson was very deaf but he did not like people to know this. One evening he had invited several friends to dinner, and while they were sitting at the table, one of the friends told a funny story. Everyone laughed, and Sir William, who had laughed as loud as anyone, said, "That was a very funny joke, but I know a funnier one. Would you like to hear it?" They all said they would, so Sir William began his story. When it ended, everyone laughed louder than ever and Sir William smiled happily. But he didn't know the reason for their laughter. He had told the very same story that his friend had just told.
Bertha was a very pretty girl. Quite a lot of young men wanted to marry her, but she was not satisfied with any of them. One day, one of the young men came to visit her and asked her to become his wife. She answered, "No, John,I won't marry you.I want to marry a man who is famous, who can play music m sing and dance very well, who can tell interesting stories, who does not smoke or drink , who stays at home in the evenings and who stops talking when I'm tired of listening."The young man got up, took his coat and went to the door, but before he left the house, he turned and said to Bertha, "It isn't a man you're looking for. It's a television set."
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued: "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60 Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"ĦĦĦĦAt this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?"