Re: [Rails-devel] 1856 SR escrow reporting

[brett l. <wak...@gm...>]

I'm in agreement with Erik on this one, and a native speaker of the
language. ;-)

There's no functional difference between the sentences. I don't see
where they might make someone think the money was paid to anybody
other than the escrow holdings for LPS. Both sentences presume that
the reader knows what "held in escrow" means. So, I don't see why you
describe our version as misleading.

The only real grammatical errors are the missing comma before the
'which' clause and the lack of a period at the end of the sentence.
See also: http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/parens.asp and
http://www.cliffsnotes.com/WileyCDA/CliffsReviewTopic/Uses-of-Parentheses.topicArticleId-29011,articleId-28994.html

If you don't care for the parentheses, these options would also be
another way to state it:

"The price of $325 is paid to the Bank, which holds it in escrow for LPS."
"The price, $325, is paid to the Bank, which holds it in escrow for LPS."

---Brett.



On Fri, Jan 15, 2010 at 2:54 PM, Erik Vos <eri...@xs...> wrote:
> I frankly don't see any substantial difference between these two
> formulations.
> Now English isn't my mother language, so I'm open to be corrected...
>
> Erik.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Aliza Panitz [mailto:ali...@gm...]
> Sent: Friday 15 January 2010 22:22
> To: Development list for Rails: an 18xx game
> Subject: [Rails-devel] 1856 SR escrow reporting
>
> A nitpick from the SR report window:
>
> Joshua buys a 10% share of LPS from IPO for $65.
> The price ($325) is paid to the Bank which holds it in escrow for LPS
>
> This is misleading, and can confuse newer players.  How about:
>
> The price is paid to the Bank which now holds $325 in escrow for LPS
>