I'm really sorry that you're so upset. I think past history plays a big
role in what's going on and that everyone here has a hard time getting
past old resentments and grudges. That's too bad. You are all very
talented, as is shown by the work you've managed to do together.
Regardless of the resentments and bad feelings, you've all managed to
work together as a team to produce some fine software.
When you are already angry at someone, it is easy to misinterpret an
email, which lacks emotional signals like facial expression or the tone
of voice. It's also easy to take exception to things that you might
ignore in a face-to-face encounter. On the other side, it's easy to
write insulting comments to someone you don't have to face - one of the
most unfortunate side-effects of this kind of communication.
Every project leader has to be a dictator. You can't run a project as a
democracy. That doesn't mean the leader should ignore the other people
on the project. In fact, it's vital that he listen to their concerns
and incorporate their wishes into his decisions. But in the end, one
person needs to have control, or you get chaos. Because the project
leader has to make decisions, he is going to make some that anger team
members. He's going to make choices that some people disapprove of,
because no team is ever composed of people who all think alike.
I think you've both said things in email, that you might not have said
in person. I also think that you have both chosen to interpret things
the worst possible light, rather than accepting the possibility that
you might simply have been misunderstood. My advice is that you both
should apologize for the insulting remarks, and try to clarify things
that were misunderstood.
This started with a very minor issue, if you think about it. Don't let
anger run your life. Don't let it take away something you love.
Eric Lavarde wrote:
I needed some time to think about it but I don't see the point of me
spending my leasure time on FreeMind, loosing my nerves on an autocratic
and arrogant project director.
I would ask you to remove me from the developers' mailing list. If there
are questions, feel free to contact me directly, but there are some
people with whom I don't need to be in the same room or on the same
There were good times, I learned some things, and I don't regret the
time involved, so thank you for this, and I wish you well,
Dan Polansky wrote:
I am unsure whether you understood what I meant when speaking of
relationships in contrast to substance. I only meant that my mail was
not addressing the merit of the thing but rather the relationships in
the project. I meant that I did not discuss the version numbering
scheme; I was discussing the way in which you have addressed your
proposal to the team. I had found your way insolent.
I have been told that relationships should be separated from the
technical topic, but not ignored. I have been told that relationships
should be treated too.
When I have received your initial email, I felt strange. I did not
understand it, I have seen no examples, and it seemed overly
unprofessional, difficult to read. Also, it said that unless I protest,
I am bound to something. I felt need to make this a topic of itself. I
felt need to clarify that there are certain roles and relationships
between people and that certain styles of communication are inappropriate.
So again, it is inappropriate that you assume passive approval. I
completely disagree with this. Whenenever you do it again, I declare
with this email ahead that I disagreee with any of your suggestions
formulated in this way.
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