the official server of Stendhal is only using up to 350 MB and only has 2GB installed. So I am rather sure that your problem is not related to memory.
Are you sure that your virtual private server allows to be used as game server? Many VPS provider explicitly disallow game servers and have technical mechanism in place to enforce that.
What does the log file say?
nope i have had my server host have a look at it and they cant get it to work if anyone can have a look at it for me i would be greatful my server host said if there is anything then i am to tell them and they will change any settings for me at there end so if anyone wants to help post a reply here or email me email@example.com thank you
yea i thought that but i dont touch it i use putty to get to my host i have also tryed the one in the control panel i dont get it . my hosting provider tryed to get it to stay running i cant think what it could be i need someone with exspirance to have a look at my cpanel config as my host will help me with any probs his end if anyone wants to take a look i would be happy to create them an account on my server in good faith
Closing your putty session would send a SIGHUP command to close all processes you started in that session, unless you explicitly prevented this with something like nohup or screen. Could this be the problem?