Thank you Nick and Benny
Yes that is the problem I was finding. The workarounds are a good idea and may help find other underlying problems so must remember
"A quick way if you do not want to navigate the GUI to find who this note is attached:
1/write down note id
2/export to gramps xml your data, and extract the xml file in the .gramps zip (open with ark, or unzip, or file-roller)
3/look for note id in the gramps xml (one CTRL-F)
4/copy the handle of the note, then search on the note handle in the xml (another CTRL-F)
5/you now know everything this note is attached too."
Please consider topic closed.