I'm running a purely PHP website, python isn't even in
the FreeBSD Ports Collection I'm using to maintain the
servers. Thus, I am unable to use Python on any
portion of the site.
Can someone make a PHP version of this Google feature?
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Maybe it's to late for you - but there is one (free
available open source) - phpSitemapNG:
developer of phpSitemapNG
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Contact me for a PHP script that generates sitemaps.