sidneys1 wrote:I was making a robot that was Artificially Intelligent that, someday, would TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE and enslave mankind for eternities on end.
That was, of course, until I decided to finish my doomsday machine first. When it was done I had some pie and ice cream, but the pie was old and the ice cream melted, and so I decided to go back to my "AI robot that would TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE and enslave mankind for eternities on end" project for school.
I blackmailed the teacher with my doomsday machine and they gave me until 2012 for it to happen, so I got out my quill and ink and paper to write a letter of complaint to the ice cream company. But then I realized it was going to take longer than I had thought, so I told the teacher it would be overdue, but the world would definitely cease to exist on January 19, 2038.
Afterwards, the robot went haywire and destroyed the school, so I got sued and was taken to court. The judge then said that he would let me go if I built a robot that would rebuild the school. And so I constructed my evil lair, whistlist building the school of nightmares filled with torture devices, for only the cunning and subtle followers to avoid.
But after finishing the school, my principal took me to court (again) for making it wrong, and the judge said to me, ''If you don't do something good for the world, you will spend all eternity in Government Punishment."
I told the judge that he had his facts wrong, and I'd appeal to a different judge, and they would 'release' me, for a student isn't expected to rebuild a school after destroying it, as I had done; all hours of community service thereafter would be negated for the correct procedure wasn't followed, and I'd be declared innocent; and of course, the accidental 'crime' was not serious enough to result in any punishment with a 'magnitude of jail'. (I also said to him, "What kind of legal term is 'Government Punishment'??")
The judge then told me he'd bally well sooner eat a codfish. He did, and promptly coughed, choked, and fell over dead.
I looked over at my overweight slob of a prosecutor, who looked just as stunned as I didn't, and decided that the hearing was over.
I went home and had dinner and my parents asked me how my seventy-third day of school was. I told them all that had happened, but they didn't believe a word of it. After dinner, I went up into to my room and discovered that the robot was eating my good pie and ice cream! I got mad that the robot took my pie and I stabbed it 37 times.
Suddenly, a llama appeared. "Caaaarl, did you just stab that robot 37 times in the chest?"
I continued stabbing the pie and ice cream five times more, to teach it a lesson, and said, "No, I stabbed the pie and ice cream
two and forty times. Can't you read? Additionally, my name's not 'Caaaarl'; in fact, I don't believe my name was mentioned yet; and whatever name mentioned henceforth in this writing shall not necessarily be accurate."